Guest post: Halloween shopping is AWESOME

Not to be outdone by her big brother, my lovely daughter has decided to join the blogging universe. All exclamation marks used in this post are organic, free-range, and humanely harvested. Enjoy!


A couple days ago I went to the local costume shop to find a costume. My friend was going to meet me outside the store but my younger brother decided he wanted to be a Storm Trooper from Star Wars and we had to look at the costume now. (Brothers, am I right?) So we asked the very obviously bored store-guy to bring the costume to us.

Just as he brought it my brother decided he didn’t want to be a Storm Trooper because the costume didn’t come with a light saber. Just then my friend came up, and one thing you should know about this friend is she takes her shopping seriously!

So she was trying to decide two costumes to try on, and decided to help me find mine. I came in looking to be something candy-like. We didn’t find any super cute ones, but we found 6 other ones! So I spent half an hour trying them on then, decided I didn’t want any of them. I wanted a completely different one, a Mad Hatter costume.

The first one I tried on the zipper was busted.  Then I finally found one with a working zipper. Naturally, once I put it on I had to find a matching wig!  The first pink one was a COMPLETELY different shade of pink. The second one was red. Finally, I found a color I liked, RAINBOW!

Then, I realized I wanted a boa, so I tried on 16 boas, a blue one, a purple one, orange, green, red, pink, rainbow, yellow, maroon, indigo, neon green, neon pink, glow in the dark, magenta, periwinkle, and black. It turns out the whole time my brother was whining and complaining about how he wasn’t feeling well. Whoops. After I tried on all 16 boas I decided none of them matched well enough with my outfit, but I bought one anyway!

In my head I thought that I would put it on my dog, this is what I figured he would look like:

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Then I realized two things. First, he is not a Chihuahua, and second, he is FAT  slightly chubby.

But this is the first costume I tried on:

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: I loved it… until, I remembered I wore it 2 years ago. That would be so embarrassing to be seen in a costume from TWO YEARS ago! Finally, the last costume I tried on:

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It was perfect! Then I remembered the fact that my little brother was not feeling good. Again, whoops. All though, thankfully it turned out he was just hungry. I was very glad, because I did not want him vomiting all over my new costume. Then we bought MEGA M&Ms!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YUM!

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Keep celebrating Halloween! Remember, FREE CANDY I mean, ummm… oh, fun and dressing up! Thanks for reading my post, and I hope you enjoyed a look into a 5th grader’s mind around Halloween!

Guest Post: I am not a fighter

Ever wonder what’s going on in the mind of a middle-school boy? Have a sneaking suspicion the answer is “nothing”? Here’s a guest post from my 12 year old son. He really wanted to let the world know that it’s hard being in middle school. Enjoy!


 

Dumb other people are dumb

Gosh, the life of a middle school swimmer is hard. I have the absolute delight of going to a middle school that is NOT up to my snobbish standards, and in fact has some people that would punch a small, non-threatening person just for a laugh.

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Actually, I would probably do that too. If I could. But I can’t. For two reasons.

Why can’t you beat people up? Huh?

Reason number one: Size.

There are a large number of people at school that are around six feet tall and weigh around 200 pounds. Not even exaggerating. Even the smallest “popular kids” (who beat people up, because that is a good and logical reason for being popular. Teen and preteen social dynamics. Look it up.) are at least 5 foot 6 and weigh well over a hundred pounds. I am just barely five foot, and weigh around 95 pounds. It is all muscle, but still. All someone has to do to beat me up is trip me (thanks to my size 9.5 shoes on my size 8.5 feet) and then sit on me.

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Reason number two: I am actually a good boy.

And fashionably dressed, too
And fashionably dressed, too

I know this sounds weird, but I am generally a good kid. Sure, I have people issues and am occasionally a little on the grumpy side. But still, I feel really bad about me not doing nice things, even when all I am doing is getting a drink from the water fountain while I am supposed to be in the bathroom. Fighting? No. I can’t bring myself to actually do anything because I realize that no matter how much I want to punch somebody, doing it just makes things worse.

I sound like a flippin’ yoga teacher.

Impressive, right?