When I set out last week to add some structure to my life and adopt some positive new habits, I knew it would be hard. I made it through the first 24 hours swimmingly, and then the second day the difficulty of sticking with my resolutions ratcheted up unexpectedly high. Thursday and Friday were a lot easier and I was convinced I had reached a new plateau of personal awesomeness.
The Plan: 1 Real Life: 0
Friday night I had a few beers and the next thing I knew I overslept Saturday. My whole strategy is to front load the morning with time for myself, which appeals to my selfishness and so (I thought) it should be easier to achieve. Then the dishwasher died an ugly, noisy death. Suddenly taking time to go exercise seemed a little too selfish when I had a job to do. My weekend was consumed by a blur of salvage stores and big box scratch and dent sections until we found a decent dishwasher.
The Plan: 1 Real Life:1
Sunday morning started out well with a gorgeous morning that was perfect for a run with Mrs. Nostrikethat. My dishwasher woes continued as I discovered that I needed a pluggy thing, and no one sold the pluggy thing because we bought the Delorean of dishwashers and the only place to get the pluggy thing was the Internet, after a delay of 2 weeks.
No bueno. Visit 4 more appliance stores trying to find a part.
Sunday evening turned into an impromptu neighborhood event as a few of us gathered our folding chairs and drank box wine while our kids ran around outside. Sunday evening wine turned into Sunday night beer, and by the time 11 o’clock rolled around my Irish-ish neighbor and I had consumed an embarrassing amount of alcohol for a work night.
The next morning I discovered that my alarm clock sounded suspiciously like my guilty conscience.
“BWARP-BWARP-BWARP-SHAME-SHAME-SHAME-BWARP-BWA-” smackasmackaSMACK
I spent the morning in bed trying to determine exactly what kind of carpet my tongue had turned into as I pondered what I’ve learned this week.
- The willingness to revisit your initial assumptions is a good thing. Saturday felt like a better cheat day than Sunday just due to the rhythm of our week.
- Revisiting your assumptions 2 days in a row is a nice way of lying to yourself about cheating.
- Some things seem urgent and will falsely distract you. I let myself focus on the dishwasher when I might have been better off stepping away on purpose to take care of myself.
- Never underestimate the power of beer.
With the dishwasher finally replaced and running, tomorrow is back to work. If I had to grade myself, I’d give me a “C” for the past week. This week we start again. Today was the first whiff of winter, and if I don’t have my new habits solidified by the time it gets cold and dark then nothing is going to happen in the winter.
No, Strike That 
Step 1) Empty dirty dishes in the dishwasher into the sink
Step 2) Wash dirty dishes, putting them back into the dishwasher, which is now your new drying rack, to air dry
Step 3) Exercise until your heart is content
Step 4) Return to your new drying rack and put away the clean dishes
Step 5a) Attempt to fix dishwasher
Step 5b) Continue to hand wash dishes while dishwasher remains unfixed, making sure to make kids / free labor do it to teach them some sort of lesson about life (the value of hard work, brute force, and improvisation, perhaps? Meh, doesn’t matter.)
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I did exactly all of those things, except for trying to get the kids to do it because honestly I don’t like eating soap and we only have a one chamber sink. As a former professional dishwasher, if it’s not 3 separate sinks (wash, rinse, sanitize) you might as well give up now.
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If not the dishwasher, something else. Always. Number 4 rings true for many days. Cause it’s always something else…
Good thing I don’t have a “job.”
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